The day that changed our lives...

Monday will be a year since our lives stopped in their tracks. Monday will be a year since I heard the terrible news.

Two of my best girl friends witnessed 2 of my best guy friends have a terrible wreck. A man ended up dead. One of my friends is now paralyzed from the chest down and the other, scarred with terrible memories and weighed with loads of guilt.

I've lost some dear friends over something I had no control over. I've also come to the realization that no matter how much you love or care about someone, sometimes you are just not as important to them as they are to you.

I've seen what tragedy can do to friendship. It can bring you closer, or it can tear you apart.

And why did it tear us all apart...I will never know.

I know with God there is purpose in all things and to all things there is a season.

I've already seen many positive things come from this tragedy. I know people who no longer drink and drive, people with drinking problems who have stopped drinking all together. I've even seen someone find her soulmate as part of the aftermath to this tragedy.

But this also caused heartbreak, loss, pain, anger and more. A man lost his life - he had a wife & children. Two life long friends will most likely never speak again. My husband and I got stuck in the middle of things and lost our dear friends over something we do not understand, nor did we have any control over. People have lost sleep, cried tears, questioned their life on this earth, etc. There has been so much pain that I will never know or understand.

I know I was not the only person hurt by this. I was not hurt more than any one else. I know this broke so many hearts and changed so many lives. I know families were broken and friendships crushed. I know lives were changed forever. I don't write this post thinking only of myself...but all I can do is feel what I feel, not what someone else has felt.

All I can know is the pain I have felt, and the pain I've seen my girl friends go through - being called liars, being witnesses to their friends' terrible accident, being questioned, investigated, interrogated...all I can know is my sleepless nights. My tears I've cried for my friends. My tears I've cried for that man's family. The tears I saw in two mothers' eyes. The pain in two fathers' faces. The sadness in a girlfriend's eyes. All I can know for sure is that day, my heartbroke. And the day they quit speaking to me for whatever reason it was, my heart broke again. And it breaks every time I see them and they look away. It breaks everytime I hear their names.

I do not give up on people easily. I love them to a fault. This is something that will never change. I hope someday, with time, all this will settle down and become a faint memory - one strong enough to keep our minds on point, but never strong enough to hold grudges or hold on to pain.

You will never know just how many lives a person has touched until tragedy strikes. And you will never know where you rank in someone's life until they choose. 3 of them chose me, even though I would not choose. And the 2 I thought would always love me, pushed me away and I can only assume it was because I would NOT choose.

And me? I will love all of them forever. Because that is how I am. That is how I was raised. And that is how my God made me.

They say the truth shall sat you free...some truths are lost forever, some are hidden behind pain, some were told and not accepted. I pray for peace and an ending to all of this misery for all parties involved in this sadness.

And I am forever thankful for my 2 best girl friends. They are strong, independent women who stood up and told the truth, despite what other's believed. They will forever be "those girls" to some people, but they will always know that truth really can set some parts of you free......

I hope someday to have my other friends back in my life. I know Kam misses them too, but life moves on and we can't fix something we ourselves did not break. Until then...I'll just keep praying for them just like I always have & always will.


Sorry for the somber tone....I'm weighed down pretty heavy today.

LOVE...

Whit