So I sit here missing her. I miss her smile and her laugh and that I always knew I could call her, but I never called her enough. Did she know I loved her? Did she know how proud I was of her for the woman she was becoming?
Taylor was someone none of us truly understood. She was wild and free. She was colorful, but dark. Going against the norm was her normal. She was brave. She was a mom to a baby girl she didn't have to mother. She was a wife and a friend to my sweet brother in law. She was truly his other half. They really were made for one another.
So...if she was standing here today, what would I say to her?
First of all, I would say thank you. Thank you for being a part of our lives. Thank you for loving Mileigh. Thank you for loving Klent. Thank you for showing us being different is OKAY. Thank you for stepping up and being an amazing mother, wife and friend. Thank you for loving Kye so much, he loves you too! You grew so much in front of our eyes, maybe we missed it sometimes, but we see it now.
Second, I would say, I LOVE YOU. I love your crazy tattoos that I don't understand. I love your willingness to fight for what you believe, even when noone in the room agrees with you. You are brave. You are headstrong and for that...I love you. I love you for loving Klent. I love you for loving Mileigh. I love you for being a friend to me even when I didn't deserve that friendship.
Next, I would say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not standing up for you, even when I wanted to. I'm sorry we were all so hard on you. I'm sorry I didn't call you enough. I'm sorry I didn't draw closer to you. I'm sorry.
What else would I say? I would say I secretly got her, but she knew that already. She knew about my darker side. She could see it. She could see I got her, even when I didn't want to admit that I did. We were two very different people, but some things made sense to me when it didn't to others. I would tell Taylor I appreciated her uniqueness and her ability to be comfortable in her own skin.
We may never know the reason the Lord needed Taylor, but perhaps just one person will be saved because of her. Maybe someone who never buckles their kids in will start buckling them in and save a life because they heard about the accident. Maybe someone will see that it is time to put differences behind them and fix a damaged relationship. Maybe someone will understand that tattoos and piercings don't mean you aren't a wonderful person/wife/mother. Maybe a relationship between brothers that has never been what it should be will find a way to become a friendship beyond destruction. Or maybe we'll never know why...but God knows why. Thank you Lord for allowing Taylor to be in our lives. Misunderstood, but never unloved.
Love your family and friends. Tell them you love them. Tell them you are sorry. Say what you need to say, because tomorrow isn't promised.
Peace, love & family
w
1 comment:
Very well said Whitney. We love y'all so much, just thought I'd tell ya:)
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