Snakes & Snails & Puppy Dog Tails...

Becoming a mother is something I've always dreamed about. I always kept in mind that being "mommy" wasn't all about smiles and cuddles and cute little nothings. I knew about the dirty diapers, the up-all-nights and all those other not-so-fun parts of mommyhood, But I never cared.  I still don't care to be honest. I can NOT wait for this adventure.

 BUT.....
         I am also scared senseless. Will I be a good mom? Will I know what to do? Will I know what to say when their world is crumbling around them? Will I remember words to songs they should learn? Will I be a good example? Will they be smart? Will I make the right decisions for them before they are able to make their own?  Will I find a new job that will provide for our family properly?  Will I find a new job AT ALL?  What if I don't want to go back to work?  Is this the worse time ever to consider getting my masters?  Is everything okay? Will everything be okay?  And so forth & and so on....

I know worrying will get me no where, I am usually not a worrier, but with all the added stress of losing my job and having had such an "uncomfortable" pregnancy thus far, I have literally worried myself in to sleepless nights and crazy crying fits. I have become a raging lunatic (just ask Kam)! :)  

And then....
          Yesterday we made our way to Dr. Lampkin's office and found out that this little miracle is a boy!  Immediately, half of my worries disappeared. All I could think of was hoping he loved horses as much as I do and fishing as much as his daddy does...and how blessed we were to be told how perfectly he was growing. We laughed at his touch-me-not ways (just like ME) and noticed he already has his daddy's nose.   And the questions went from "what if's" and "will i's" to "I wonder's" just like that!

I know I still don't know what the future holds, but our futures are held in God's hands, not our own. And I SO often have to remind myself of that. Yesterday was one of those reminders.  I'll find a job, our baby will be happy and healthy and things will be just as they are suppose to be...I have faith.   I doubt this will cure my raging lunatic ways right now and I'm still going to catch my self worrying, but hey...it's all gonna be just fine! :)  


So here's to snakes & snails & puppy dog tails....   


....and fishing poles & little spurs & four wheelers & babysitter horses & football helmets & shetland bronc ridings... 

(this kids gonna be busy..heeheehee)



Peace, Love & BIG Dreams,

W