The Joys & Frustrations of a Small Group Bible Study

A few months ago, the Lord laid it on my heart to start a Bible Study. I fought it and fought it. I thought "who would want to go to a bible study with me???"

I mean, I drink beer, I cuss too much, I don't pray enough, I rarely go to church...I AM a sinner, after all. But my love and faith in Jesus is strong. I know He holds me in His hands, so I fought it for a while, then decided to ask a few girls.

I know we are all sinners. And I also know how often God likes to use "unlikely sources" to lead others to Him...maybe I am one of those unlikely sources....

When I finally asked, it turned out I wasn't the only sinner wanting to try something new. We have a small group of 6, including myself. We are all in our 20's - some are mothers, some of us are married, some aren't. We're just a group of young-ISH women hoping to strengthen our relationship with God while becoming more familiar with the Bible and it's teachings.

I've really gotten to know these girls. I adore each and every one of them. BUT...I'm very frustrated.

If any of you read this...please don't get offended. My goal in this was to bring us all closer to the Lord and to each other in hopes that we could all be there for each other as it is often difficult to be a young woman in a small town full of....nastiness. BUT... I'm frustrated.


I've had to cancel our sessions several times because we are all leading very busy lives. I completely understand this, but when some of them do actually come, they don't do their lessons before hand, so I spend the entire class doing an "answer" session and we all miss out on glorious subject matter and discussion. And now, in week 6, which should have actually been week 9 and our final session on this study, only one girl showed up.

The same girl who always shows up and always does her lesson. Tonight it was just us. We covered the material and then visited about life in general. I truly think I've found an amazing girlfriend through this process, but I feel like a failure because the other ladies have withered away. I pray this study made some kind of impact on each one of them, I really do.

We have 3 more weeks before we are done. I was really hoping to do another study...we'll see. But right now, I just want to say that maybe God intended me to do this for all of us for different reasons, but I found my reason in session 5. God led me somewhere I wasn't really wanting to go and it was right where I needed to be. So no matter what happens at our weekly group nights, this has been worthwhile for me and I hope it has been for the other girls too.

If you ever want to do a women's study. I strongly suggest Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore. It's pretty awesome - it'll make you want to put on your suit of armor and march in God's army as the Warrior Princess we as women of God are called to be!

Like I said though, this was not meant to rag on the girls. I adore them all. Some are old friends - dear friends and some where acquaintances I now count as good friends. This has been beneficial, I know it has. I am blessed to have been involved in this and I hope we do it again. I really do.

And now I'd like to pose one question: Why is it that when life gets busy and crazy, the first thing we seem to cut out is usually the most important? i.e. our time with God....

Peace, Love & Mustard Seeds,

Whit

Pouring my heart out....

I'm frustrated.

I have so many dreams. So much to say, so much I want to accomplish and yet I am stagnant.

Do you ever question who you are? How you do things? WHY you do things?

I have a "Bucket List".

Here's a few I have yet to accomplish and am, at this point in my life, quite afraid I will never accomplish:

1. Be a mommy.
I'm afraid I'll never be a mommy. This is something I want more than anything else in this world.

2. Own my own business.
When I went to college, I had a dream. I wanted to open my own therapuetic riding center. I volunteered all through college. It was one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. To see the relationship between those children and the horses was simply miraculous. To watch those kids grow physically, mentally and emotionally was a true blessing from God. After I graduated I had no money so I got a job. I live too far away and my job is too demanding to volunteer on a regular basis now, so I just stopped volunteering. I need land, gentle horses and equipment. I realize how hard it would be...I'm afraid I'm letting my dream die.

3. Live in the country AGAIN.
Again, this may not make sense to anyone, but town is KILLING me. I am not built for a city street. I'm made to be found at the end of a dirt rode, preferably a long one. If I didn't love my husband so much, I'd just take the tent and camp out somewhere far away from civilization for the rest of my life. Hey...that might be kind of fun actually! :)

4. Compile my poetry/prose.
I doubt any of it is any good, but I really think it'd be neat/healing/helpful/interesting/etc. if I could get all of it in one location - see the transitions from girl to teen to young woman. How I've changed, how I've grown. It's all in there. Love, loss, confusion, passion, sorrow - it's all in there. ~ You know, this one is very doable. Time to stop procrastinating!

5. Ride my horse every day just like I use to.
I use to ride almost every day. I covered lots of ground with a horse between my knees. It's been 9 months since I rode last. 9 months. Isn't that the saddest thing ever!?! Well...to me it is. To some, it's stupid, but to me it is extremely important. Riding helps me find myself and gets me back to ME.

6. Make a difference.
I want to make a difference. I want to help someone who truly needs helping. I want God's light to shine out from inside of me. I want to have SOULshine! Sometime I know I have it, but I want it all the time! I need to be this way all the time. I want to make a difference by being God's warrior princess just like I'm suppose to be. (If you've done the Bible Study, Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore, you know what I'm talking about, if you haven't, I strongly suggest it!!!)


Most of you are probably thinking - Whitney, seriously you are only 25! You've got a lifetime to achieve your goals! But really...be honest. Once you let these things slip by, most times they are gone forever....sad, but true.

Here's hoping I make at least some of these dreams come true! (Lord willin' & the creek don't rise, of course!)

Peace, Love & Confessions,

WHIT

No professional

I went crazy and bought a fancy shmancy camera. I took photography courses in college, but let's face it, that was 4 years ago and I used a 35mm! So I'll be taking a crash course in figuring this bad dude out. Here's a few shots I've taken since purchasing my Canon Rebel EOS T2i.

Sweet Kyndall is the daughter of some good friends of ours. She's a beautiful little girl with a love for all things girly. And her smile will knock you off of your feet!

Ethan, Callie & I went to the park on Tuesday to play. Thank goodness I brought the camera! This wild man is such a cutie! He never leaves home without his hat (aka "cowboy") and his boots! A kid after my own heart!

Meet Penny.

Pretty petunia!

Anyway, I'm suppose to be taking some photos for some friends & family here pretty soon. They are brave souls for sure. Here's hoping I get better before then!

Peace, Love & Pretty Pictures,

Whit

Home.

I came from a place not many are familiar with. It isn't a specific place on a map. It's a life. A life that has been romanticized by film, photography and song lyrics. Although I my self am guilty of romanticizing it, our life was in fact full of scrapes and bruises along the way. But it was a good life. My body aches for it some days. My heart longs for it most all the time.

Drive 7 miles south from a sleepy little town. Turn down a rough dirt road with foot deep ruts, drive 5 more miles. When you think you've hit the Mexican border, drive a little further. Home.

Drive west 15 miles. Turn south on a caliche road. Drive 3 miles. Take the cattleguard to the right. Drive 10 more miles down the dirt road. Cross Tobacco Creek. You'll see it just before the Colorado River. Home.

Drive east 5 miles. Turn south down the old dirt road. Drive half a mile. Look behind that house there. See that spot just beyond the brush? Home.

Go to the barn. Head toward the trap. Go through the gate, you'll have to use the cheater bar. Climb down to the dry river bed. Hear the water as it runs down the rocks and in to the swimming hole? The waterfall...Home.

Turn by the Macy Ranch sign. Drive down to the racehorse barn, the house isn't there any more but the memories are. Home.

See that ole yellow paint standing in the pasture? Home.

I look at photographs, I dream of days gone by.

I see my Momma strummin' her guitar singing softly as she strums an old Emmylou tune. I see her small hands make a believer out of a headstrong mare.

I see my Daddy pitch his houlihan around the neck of some ole ranch horse. I see his hands work magic on metal and silver.

I see my sister as she flies around the barrels on her bay mare. I see her as she runs the needle in the brandin' pen.

I see myself - long blonde hair hanging behind my 5 inch brim hat, pants tucked in my handmade yellow top boots. A long legged border collie at the heels of my ranch horse is noticeably wet from taking a swim in the tank. I see me.

I see all these things and I see home.



----

Flashforward.

My home is different now. 13th street is where you'll find me. It's a house with a man I call home inside of it. Someday, we'll have a house that's really a home. I hope it's some where down a dirt road where I can see my horses from my kitchen window. Where our children can grow up knowing there is so much more life beyond a city limit sign.


Peace, Love & Red Dirt,

Whitterbree

From Crappy to Not-as-Crappy

A few months ago, like way back in March, I made big claims as to all the work I was going to do on my yard. Yes, they were big dreams for a girl who does more dreaming than doing, but some of them got done. Here's my bold statement if you'd like to see the claims.

So, progress you ask? Well, I'd say we went from crappy to not-as-crappy.

Forgive my photos as most of them are mobile uploads.

#1. The glider bench & metal chair.

~It's my favorite trash to treasure to date. Both items needed a face lift and some new parts. Thanks to some good ole Krylon and a handy husband, here's the before & after of the bench, plus my fabulous turquoise antique metal chair. I wish I had a before on it, it was ROUGH!

before...

after....

#2 Flowers

~Well, I planted flowers. I watered, I fertilized, I attempted to breath life in to my budding friends and then I bought more flowers when half of the flowers from the first round took a drastic turn toward death. Here's a few pictures of my flower pots. Forgive my not-so-green thumb.

#3 Yard Art

~This was fun. I didn't get near what I was hoping for accomplished, but I did get a fabulous tallevera frog, a metal pink flamingo, a knock off tijuana frog, a gazing ball & several things hung on the side of the house. Here are a few pictures of some of the things I have sitting around!

Hopefully, next year I'll get even more done...better yet, I'll be a home owner and be able to do ANYTHING I please to my home! :)

Have a beautiful night!

Peace, Love & Wildflowers,

WHIT

My Friday Confessions...

~I'm catching the back end of this confessions train, but here it goes....

Confession #1:
I despise wearing socks. Shoes too, but socks mostly. I would rather be barefooted than anything else. Socks make me feel restricted. I've been this way forever...ask my poor mother who wanted nothing more than to protect me and keep me warm, yet I refused! Mama Tried! ;)


Confession #2:
I watch the Disney Channel. O yes, I'm a frequent viewer of Hannah Montana, Sonny with a Chance, Wizards of Waverly Place & Good Luck Charlie. I dvr them. I'll be 26 next month and I get excited when they make new episodes. I get even more excited when they make a new made-for-TV move on the Disney Channel. But the best part...my hubby loves it too! I mean where else can you get good wholesome entertainment with humor, love & life lessons all included!? It's fun! Try it out!


Confession #3:
I hate getting dressed up. Ever since I was a little girl, I preferred boots (or flipflops), jeans and a hat. I am still that same girl. I put make up on only for weddings, funerals, church & nights out. I haven't worn makeup to work in probably 2 months. I also despise fixing my hair. Today was the first day in 2 weeks that I fixed my hair for work, it's pony tails or caps for this girl. I am plain jane in that respect, but I do have fabulous highlights in my hair & I never leave home without big, gawdy earrings and a couple of bangles on my wrist!

Confession #4:
I hate cooking for just my husband & I. I feel really guilty about this, because I do love cooking, but I love cooking for other people. I love cooking for Kam & his friends or for my friends or our families. But on a normal weeknight, my dear husband is lucky if he gets boxed spaghetti. It's sad, I know, but it's the truth.



Confession #5:
My husband makes me giddy. Don't get me wrong, somedays I want to scream at the top of my lungs and then poke my eyeballs out because of him...but gosh he has my heart! He is by far the most entertaining person I know. He makes me crazy with his constant random sing songs about our dogs, he drives me insane with his neverending quest to irritate me, but if it wasn't for all that I wouldn't appreciate those moments where he looks at me and all I see in his eyes are how much he loves me. Last night was one of those moments....they make my lil heart go pitterpatter! :)

~Peace, Love & Dreams~

WHIT

5 Beautiful Things

Beauty surrounds us every moment of every day, but so often we fail to notice it or appreciate it. Here are a few God given beauties that make me smile and give thanks!

1. Sunsets/Sunrises
~I see a lot of these on my daily drives to & from work. And each one I see brings a new part of me to life. So many colors, so many rays of light, so many different cloud formations - it's always breathtaking. Only God could hold such a paint brush!

2. My horses
~These guys light up my life. Just seeing them brings me back to me...I pray for the day when I have a place to bring Uncy to Post so I can ride all the time, just like I did back when...All horses are a thing of beauty, even the big headed, high whithered, ugly suckers have a way of winning your heart (here's to a sway backed ranch horse named Sueno...I'll see ya again some day, ole pard!)

3. Rain

~Rain is a good thing! We've seen a lot of it this year, more in 2 weeks than we usually see in a year, but no matter what, it's still beautiful! It fills our lakes and rivers, provides water for farmers & ranchers, I've always referred to it as job security. Beautiful, Heaven sent job security! And besides, rain makes rainbows! ;)

4. Flowers
~My family is full of women with green thumbs, mine isn't quite as green, but I try. My aunt might as well be Martha Stewart and my mom & Gran Gran's yards are full of old fashioned flowers filled with vibrant blooms. My yard, well, hey I tried! :) But flowers, whether they are in a yard, a pasture or a bar ditch are some of the most amazing things on earth. They are so full of beauty and wonderment! And well, wildflowers, they best stay wild!

5. Children
~I have several friends with little ones and they never cease to amaze me. They are so full of light and love and joy. I adore the kids in my life and can't wait to be a mommy myself someday! Children are a precious gift! Yet another beautiful blessing from God's hands. Here's a picture of my friend Callie's little boy, Ethan...he was all tuckered out from a day at the lake! Innocence at it's best!

Maybe you've driven by the exact same spot 100 times and never truly looked at it's beauty until recently. Or maybe you relish in the beauty of the wildflowers in the barditch every morning, or a neighbors yard, or a stranger's kind smile. There is beauty in everything, if only we allow our selves to see it. Once we see it, we must cherish it, share it and believe in it! Thank the Lord for the beautiful things - no matter how big or how small, how peculiar or how mundane, beauty is everywhere! Go out and find it!

Peace, Love & A Gypsy's Soul,

Whit